Monday, June 8, 2009

The Rollercoaster continued

I woke up next morning full of anxiety, but at least I slept well!

I decided I need to do something to relieve my anxiety. I rang the local pound and they had a report for a missing puppy from the day before matching the description of the puppy we found. One problem solved. DH walked puppy up to the shops to give him back to his owners late Thursday afternoon.

Now, how to regain my equilibrium. I rang a local carer support group that had an outing scheduled for this week; sure that it would be full... but it wasn't! I asked my manager, she agreed a day out would be a good thing for me! So, I'm going up on the rollercoaster, and holding tight to the vision of where I will be able to relax later this week: Peninsula Hot Springs and Day Spa

Saturday, June 6, 2009

The Rollercoaster of Life

DH has been coming up on the rollercoaster. Now he is going down (removing non-communicative friends from Facebook, deciding not to go ahead with goals that are too hard). Fortunately, the local community health service has a program especially for people with musculoskeletal issues and anxiety/depression; his key support worker will help him set a couple of goals and break them down into small chunks so they can be achieved. Program includes learning beneficial exercises from a physio and remedial massage too.

I have been going down on the rollercoaster. I haven't had a real break since I went with a friend for a half-day spa in October last year. More than 6 months without even a half day for myself, no wonder I've been grumpy, defeated, and poking holes in DH's plans. But I thought I was having a great day on Wednesday, yay going up on the rollercoaster! I went to my new carer support group and had yummy lemon meringue pie. And then later, when we were picking up the kids after their religion class, we also picked up a black staffy puppy that was playing in the school grounds (after looking around to ensure no one was looking for him). Rather than taking him straight to our vet to check the microchip (which is what I wanted to do), DH decided we'd keep him overnight.

I liked the puppy. In fact I was the one who spotted him and suggested we pick him up before he ran out on a major road. But I thought we would take him straight to the vet; and I let myself get talked into letting it into our home. DH adores animals.

Over the next few hours, I went from being happy to being extremely stressed. The puppy was being, well, a puppy! And I already have enough stress. The last straw for me was when I'd forgotten to take my evening antibiotic (again), and was eating a piece of bread & butter, walking down the hallway. The food was at about chest level, and the puppy took a running jump and bit half the piece of bread out of my hand. I lost it. I screamed and ran down the other end of the house, quickly closing the door behind me. I must've sat on the couch shaking for 5 minutes, breathing and trying to regain my equilibrium.

To be continued... if I get around to it.