Making a plan

I'm not falling apart, I'm moving on.

The plan is for me to:
- attend counselling, just organised through Carers Australia - starts Friday the 15th, unless there is a cancellation. I plan to use these sessions to move forward with my life.
- attend Partners in Depression 6 week (2hrs/week) course - starts Wednesday the 13th, although I haven't got confirmation yet.
- ask Carelink for help cleaning the house (it hasn't been cleaned properly in at least 3.5 years, maybe almost 5 years since hubby hurt his shoulder and his depression took over) and for advice on separation.

- arrange mediation (free for carers here) so he understands what I need him to do to get better and what will happen if he doesn't (separation).
- find out how to separate from him without just kicking him out; accommodation and finances and how he can go on getting his methadone.
- start life as a single mum, which I already have been. But this time, I will have more time and money so I can live a more happy & normal life.

I have told him this is the plan. I'm not sure he understands, which is why it is pretty comprehensive.His first response was I don't need to help him cope with single life; I'll just kill myself. I'm not going to help him with that... if he wants to do that, it's his decision.

What I need him to do to get better (The GP wants most of these too!):
- go to counselling / life coaching (I actually already have an appointment booked for him, am happy to help him find the right one)
- go to a new psychiatrist (I have found one that deals with most of his conditions and may actually be able to help him at her private clinic).
- Maybe go to GROW
- Maybe get a PHaMS worker.
- Make some progress.

At present, he has been coming to work with me most days and lying on a camp bed and resting in my office. He doesn't seem to be able to move forward. We have an appointment booked Friday with a place that can help him deal with getting off benzodiazepenes and his anxiety/depression. He's still 'thinking about it'.

I have posted some of this blog entry on carer forums I belong to and plan to take it along to my support group meeting today. Thank you for your ongoing care and support!

My other blogs

As you may have noticed, I don't blog here often... that's because I don't have much spare time!

But I have realized I can blog on some topics without too much effort... I can touch type, and cut and paste, and just add a few thoughts of my own, but still share my knowledge and insights.

Please check out my other two blogs:

Carer Inspirations - lovely things that help lift my spirits

What Sapphyre Read - worthwhile reads. This blog title was inspired by What Katy Did, I read this many, many years ago and I'm sure I still have it in a box!

Creating 2010... it's not too late to plan for the year, is it?

Creating 2010

What would you like to be your biggest triumph in 2010?
Writing the story of my romance with hubby and how life worked... on a blog will be fine! 

What advice would you like to give yourself in 2010?
One day at a time.

What is the major effort you are planning to improve your financial results in 2010?
Using the loan from my parents to catch up with commitments, and then budgeting and sticking to it! So far I've decided 10% of income on debts (excluding mortgage), 10% into saving for commitments, and 80% to live on. Now I'm starting to track expenses that vary, like petrol, groceries, etc.

What would you be most happy about completing in 2010?
Getting the house decluttered, and having a regular cleaning schedule where each family member knows what they need to do each week or month.

What major indulgence are you willing to experience in 2010?

Pampering myself! Carer Respite, visits to friends, and other things that make me feel good and help me cope with this life I find myself in.

What would you most like to change about yourself in 2010?
I'd like to lose 20kg and feel healthier.

What are you looking forward to learning in 2010?
I am looking forward to learning what I can change for the better and what I must accept as something I cannot change. Acceptance, Commitment, and Love are my watchwords for 2010.
 

What do you think your biggest risk will be in 2010?
That I will lose myself again in the care of others. Thus I must schedule me-time and visits to friends!
 

What about your work, are you most committed to changing and improving in 2010?
Communication with my manager. Now that I have returned to working in the office, instead of from home, I am making sure my manager is kept up-to-date with relevant news about my work. And about absences.

What is one as yet undeveloped talent you are willing to explore in 2010? 
Writing. I haven't done much this year, but I am very glad I started this blog. I'm unlikely to get time to write a novel for decades, so this is good practice in the meantime! I am thinking about writing up some of the stories of my life, inspired by the My Wife Has Agoraphobia! blog.

What brings you the most joy and how are you going to do or have more of that in 2010? 
>Scrapbooking - making something beautiful. By scheduling regular visits with my friend, and finding a new Creative Memories consultant that runs workshops locally.

Who or what, other than yourself, are you most committed to loving and serving in 2010?
My husband and children.

What one word would you like to have as your theme in 2010?

Serendipity

Thanks again to Sandy MacGregor's Mind Matters News for these questions.