Being grateful is supposed to help improve my mood

Three things I am grateful for:

1. Free counselling because my dad was a Vietnam Veteran. Boy do I need it! Next appointment on Tuesday.
   
2. The music of Taylor Swift and Lily Allen I keep hearing on the radio... it cheers me up, no end!
   
3. My son's tutor, who helped us turn the kids' bedrooms back into rooms they could use, and help us organise our laundry over the school holidays.

I'm going to try to find someone to go to a movie with me today. I've been doing stuff for everyone else for so long, I'm depressed and out of sorts. Must do more nice things for myself.

A long time between posts

Hello

I didn't realise it had been quite this long! I have not had much spare time.

• I've started counselling (going again tomorrow)
  
• attended the day spa (had a lovely time but got very anxious when it was time to go home)
  
• I've got tonsillitis again,
• DS and DD have been sick
• DH ran out of oxycontin again (it's a monthly event), but we've determined he can get by with Valium and Tramadol XR
• Haven't been to the gym since learning my program - but will go to yoga on Wednesday
• Work has bought me a new PC; setting it up is in progress, but my wonderful DH has found a KVM switch (Keyboard, Video, Mouse) so my desk is not overly cluttered.
• I have a working printer!

I will try to post something more meaningful soon.

The Rollercoaster continued

I woke up next morning full of anxiety, but at least I slept well!

I decided I need to do something to relieve my anxiety. I rang the local pound and they had a report for a missing puppy from the day before matching the description of the puppy we found. One problem solved. DH walked puppy up to the shops to give him back to his owners late Thursday afternoon.

Now, how to regain my equilibrium. I rang a local carer support group that had an outing scheduled for this week; sure that it would be full... but it wasn't! I asked my manager, she agreed a day out would be a good thing for me! So, I'm going up on the rollercoaster, and holding tight to the vision of where I will be able to relax later this week: Peninsula Hot Springs and Day Spa

The Rollercoaster of Life

DH has been coming up on the rollercoaster. Now he is going down (removing non-communicative friends from Facebook, deciding not to go ahead with goals that are too hard). Fortunately, the local community health service has a program especially for people with musculoskeletal issues and anxiety/depression; his key support worker will help him set a couple of goals and break them down into small chunks so they can be achieved. Program includes learning beneficial exercises from a physio and remedial massage too.

I have been going down on the rollercoaster. I haven't had a real break since I went with a friend for a half-day spa in October last year. More than 6 months without even a half day for myself, no wonder I've been grumpy, defeated, and poking holes in DH's plans. But I thought I was having a great day on Wednesday, yay going up on the rollercoaster! I went to my new carer support group and had yummy lemon meringue pie. And then later, when we were picking up the kids after their religion class, we also picked up a black staffy puppy that was playing in the school grounds (after looking around to ensure no one was looking for him). Rather than taking him straight to our vet to check the microchip (which is what I wanted to do), DH decided we'd keep him overnight.

I liked the puppy. In fact I was the one who spotted him and suggested we pick him up before he ran out on a major road. But I thought we would take him straight to the vet; and I let myself get talked into letting it into our home. DH adores animals.

Over the next few hours, I went from being happy to being extremely stressed. The puppy was being, well, a puppy! And I already have enough stress. The last straw for me was when I'd forgotten to take my evening antibiotic (again), and was eating a piece of bread & butter, walking down the hallway. The food was at about chest level, and the puppy took a running jump and bit half the piece of bread out of my hand. I lost it. I screamed and ran down the other end of the house, quickly closing the door behind me. I must've sat on the couch shaking for 5 minutes, breathing and trying to regain my equilibrium.

To be continued... if I get around to it.

Lice, tonsillitis and pink eye. Oh my!

Does anyone want my family?

• DD has lice. (Not again! That's it. I'm chopping her mop to short curls. I can hardly get a brush through it, let alone a nit comb.)
  
• DS went on camp and came back with tonsillitis, which he gave to me. (Yay, I'm still on the antibiotics)
  
• DD now has conjunctivitis, most likely viral (or it could be impetigo as she seem to have that too!!!). I haven't got rid of the lice yet! Oh well, at least she has a better reason for staying home from school.
  
• DH has run out of (good) painkillers and is spending half his day in bed, the other half asking me to keep the kids quiet, while I'm trying to work as a professional software developer.
  

Hang on, two positives:

• At least we haven't got the Swine Flu. (Touch wood!)
• Oh, and the kitten is recovering beautifully from her desexing the other day.

I didn't know Tonsillitis was contagious!

Well, my trip to the doctor Friday morning confirmed I too have tonsillitis. The doctor put me phenoxymethlpenicillin, 4 pills a day for 12 days. Wikipedia told me that this is the recommended antibiotic for Streptococcus pyogenes, the cause of Group A streptococcal infections. Interestingly, I also found a link between these infections and rapid development of OCD or tics, known as PANDAS.

Well, I felt better the next day after just 4 doses, so it seems to be working! Little bit nauseous, though, not sure if that's the antibiotics or something else, but that settled down too.

I'm also aware that antibiotics may stop the pill from working, so DH isn't getting much fun for 12 days!

I need help

I didn't realise it's been more than a week since my last post; I've been busy, as usual.

I woke up groggy and with a sore throat today @ 8:05am, having fallen asleep in bed in my clothes, and having forgotten to set the alarm. I woke up because DD knocked on the door complaining DS wouldn't let her have lemonade LOL... later she apologized for waking me up, and I said, "No! Thankyou for waking me up.... I've gotta to get you to school in less than an hour and it's school photo day!"

Well, at least DD's photo will be taken today. DS is home with tonsillitis and antibiotics. Yep, that's what I think I've got.

Over the last couple of days, I've been "embracing" my role as carer... because I can't do this by myself anymore! I rang the lady at the pain clinic (we went to the clinic on Tuesday) who runs a carer support group. She has put me on to some local support groups; not yet enrolled in any yet. I also rang Carers Victoria for the best advice on how to get someone to help me clean and maintain the house, as DH's help is now down to an occasional load of laundry unless I specifically ask him to do something.

Now I'm getting up the courage to ring the council about HACC (Home and Community Care). For a subsidised fee you can get help cleaning. I need some one off help to get to a basic point, and then someone to come in once a week/fortnight to help with floors, bathroom and toilet. I wonder if they could help with cobwebs, dirty walls, picking up dog poo and mowing the lawn too? One thing at a time, Sapphyre!